Sunday, December 25, 2011

Hidden Away

Husband and I would be six months pregnant right now if we had not lost our pregnancy. This has been a very hard year for us, one major disappointment after another, so we decided to spend the holidays alone, away from family and the typical obligations. This has been the best Christmas ever. We're at the beach, there is no one around except the locals and we are enjoying our time. Husband feels a little guilty that he missed the holiday with his family, which I understand. He is very close with his family and only spent one holiday away from them.While he felt as overwhelmed, frustrated and heartbroken as I did this year, he would not have hidden away during the holidays as we have if were not for me. I needed it and have been grateful he agreed.

Yesterday we took our pooch down to the beach itself-it was a gorgeous day, sunny and clear with little wind. Just as we got past the dunes and onto the sand I said to him "We would be six months pregnant right now." He grabbed my hand and said "I think about that all the time."

That is a very heavy statement. It's heavy because you never expect a man to think about it all as much as you do, you tend to forget at you are the one taking pills, injections, peeing on sticks every morning, that he has lost as much as you have.

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