Sunday, April 10, 2011

First Meeting, Rambling Post

Ahhhh, it's over. We had our first encounter with The Brat and Wife tonight since they told us they were pregnant. As I expected, it was uneventful, as it should be. There was no change in the  way those two behaved-they were not affectionate with one another, they were not joyful, they were not more smug than normal. We met a bunch of family for pizza tonight. We got to the restaurant at the same time as The Brat and Wife did. I walked right up and hugged them, asked how she was feeling, said congratulations to The Brat. Wife of course is sick. She is always sick. The sorority sister who drinks then throws up-that's her, still. Every time we are at the beach house together, she drinks then pukes all night, and complains in the morning. Now at 16 weeks, she is showing, because she is so thin, and has had cold after cold, which has now progressed to a sinus infection.

It was good that the four of us were together alone first. It gave me time to gauge the situation. I was very shocked that they were not more affectionate. I was pleased that they didn't bring up the pregnancy-I did, as is my way. I'd rather just rather face the issue head on, then wait until it gets brought up, with the heavy weight of it all. I inquired about nursery themes, morning sickness, names, hospital of delivery, etc. It was a natural conversation, much of which I was in charge of because despite her being a nurse, I knew more about it because of all the experience with friends and family I've had. Yes, that pleases me.

In summary-I'm relieved there was nothing awkward. She no longer makes statements such as "you just have to wait until I'm ready then we'll both have kids," she wasn't particularly excited or interested in discussing the baby. Again, the lack of affection between Brat and Wife surprised me. If it was Michael and I, I'd be upset if he wasn't holding my hand, gingerly and sweetly touching my swollen belly, kissing my cheek, etc. If we get the blessing of being pregnant, I don't think we'd be sickly sweet, but I believe it would be quite obvious that we were thrilled to be so. But that is just one more difference between us as couples.

I managed to keep my mouth shut about anything negative-until the end. While we were outside with my husband's mother waiting for the others to close their tabs, she mentioned The Brat and Wife's dog. This dog is an untrained, undisciplined, spoiled purse-dog, that shits and pisses on everything while biting everyone. My husband asked his mother what is going to happen to the dog and she replied that she'll probably end up with it. I responded "you can't have grandchildren at your house then if she's there." Husband's mother commented that dogs just know, have a way of knowing/understanding the children belong to their family, but this dog is a terror and there is no way our kids would ever be around that bitch. Husband's mother also said, "Well, we can't just throw her away."

Husband said to me yesterday that we need to stop being so bitter and envious and start appreciating what we have. He said that he had found the woman of his dreams, and at one point, that's all he ever wanted. It's all he really needs. The craziest thing is that he means this, how lucky am I? It's true that we are so fortunate to have found one another, and we really have a fantastic relationship. That alone should be enough. However, we always want more.

Unrelated to tonight- last night our friends came over with their baby, and it was a lovely visit.  Toward the end of night, and to my surprise, they asked us to be godparents to their baby. Instantly, before she even finished asking I was in tears.  Simply being asked to be their son's godparent is amazing. It was not something I expected- I am not Catholic, and my husband is not a practicing Catholic, though he was baptized as one. Our friend assured me that she wasn't concerned about the fact that we haven't been attending mass, she knew we would start soon. The next morning I spent some time looking at churches in the area trying to find the right one for Husband and I to join. The role of godparent is one that I take seriously, so I need to be educated in the church in order to best support the kid throughout his experience within the Catholic church.

Sitting here now I look forward to when our calendar is full of dates to see our nieces, nephews, god children and close friend's kids in school plays, graduations, holiday pageants and birthday parties. What a blessing to be included in all of their lives.

No comments:

Post a Comment